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Old 03-18-2004, 07:59 PM   #1
TalvaranRW
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Default Child Logic can be quite telling

Q: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
A: Because they had weapons of mass destruction.


Q: But the inspectors didn't find any weapons of mass destruction.
A: That's because the Iraqis were hiding them.

Q: And that's why we invaded Iraq?
A: Yep. Invasions always work better than inspections.


Q: But after we invaded them, we STILL didn't find any weapons of mass
destruction, did we?

A: That's because the weapons are so well hidden. Don't worry, we'll find something, probably right before the 2004 election.

Q: Why did Iraq want all those weapons of mass destruction?

A: To use them in a war, silly.

Q: I'm confused. If they had all those weapons that they planned to use in a war, then why didn't they use any of those weapons when we went to war with them?

A: Well, obviously they didn't want anyone to know they had those weapons, so they chose to die by the thousands rather than defend themselves.

Q: That doesn't make sense. Why would they choose to die if they had all those big weapons with which they could have fought back?

A: It's a different culture. It's not supposed to make sense.

Q: I don't know about you, but I don't think they had any of those weapons our government said they did.

A: Well, you know, it doesn't matter whether or not they had those weapons. We had another good reason to invade them anyway.

Q: And what was that?

A: Even if Iraq didn't have weapons of mass destruction, Saddam
Hussein was a cruel dictator, which is another good reason to invade another country.

Q: Why? What does a cruel dictator do that makes it OK to invade his country?

A: Well, for one thing, he tortured his own people.

Q: Kind of like what they do in China?

A: Don't go comparing China to Iraq. China is a good economic
competitor, where millions of people work for slave wages in sweatshops to make U.S. corporations richer.

Q: So if a country lets its people be exploited for American
corporate gain, it's a good country, even if that country tortures people?

A: Right.

Q: Why were people in Iraq being tortured?

A: For political crimes, mostly, like criticizing the government.
People who criticized the government in Iraq were sent to prison and tortured.

Q: Isn't that exactly what happens in China?

A: I told you, China is different.

Q: What's the difference between China and Iraq?

A: Well, for one thing, Iraq was ruled by the Ba'ath party, while
China is Communist.

Q: Didn't you once tell me Communists were bad?

A: No, just Cuban Communists are bad.

Q: How are the Cuban Communists bad?

A: Well, for one thing, people who criticize the government in Cuba are sent to prison and tortured.

Q: Like in Iraq?

A: Exactly.

Q: And like in China, too?

A: I told you, China's a good economic competitor. Cuba, on the other hand, is not.

Q: How come Cuba isn't a good economic competitor?

A: Well, you see, back in the early 1960s, our government passed some laws that made it illegal for Americans to trade or do any business with Cuba until they stopped being Communists and started being capitalists like us.

Q: But if we got rid of those laws, opened up trade with Cuba, and started doing business with them, wouldn't that help the Cubans become capitalists?

A: Don't be a smart-ass.

Q: I didn't think I was being one.

A: Well, anyway, they also don't have freedom of religion in Cuba.

Q: Kind of like China and the Falun Gong movement?

A: I told you, stop saying bad things about China. Anyway, Saddam Hussein came to power through a military coup, so he's not really a legitimate leader anyway.

Q: What's a military coup?

A: That's when a military general takes over the government of a
country by force, instead of holding free elections like we do in the United States.

Q: Didn't the ruler of Pakistan come to power by a military coup?

A: You mean General Pervez Musharraf? Uh, yeah, he did, but Pakistan is our friend.

Q: Why is Pakistan our friend if their leader is illegitimate?

A: I never said Pervez Musharraf was illegitimate.

Q: Didn't you just say a military general who comes to power by
forcibly overthrowing the legitimate government of a nation is an
illegitimate leader?

A: Only Saddam Hussein. Pervez Musharraf is our friend, because he helped us invade Afghanistan.

Q: Why did we invade Afghanistan?

A: Because of what they did to us on September 11th.

Q: What did Afghanistan do to us on September 11th?

A: Well, on September 11th, nineteen men - fifteen of them Saudi
Arabians - hijacked four airplanes and flew three of them into buildings, killing over 3,000 Americans.

Q: So how did Afghanistan figure into all that?

A: Afghanistan was where those bad men trained, under the oppressive rule of the Taliban.

Q: Aren't the Taliban those bad radical Islamics who chopped off
people's heads and hands?

A: Yes, that's exactly who they were. Not only did they chop off
people's heads and hands, but they oppressed women, too.

Q: Didn't the Bush administration give the Taliban 43 million dollars back in May of 2001?

A: Yes, but that money was a reward because they did such a good job fighting drugs.

Q: Fighting drugs?

A: Yes, the Taliban were very helpful in stopping people from growing opium poppies.

Q: How did they do such a good job?

A: Simple. If people were caught growing opium poppies, the Taliban would have their hands and heads cut off.

Q: So, when the Taliban cut off people's heads and hands for growing flowers, that was OK, but not if they cut people's heads and hands off for other reasons?

A: Yes. It's OK with us if radical Islamic fundamentalists cut off
people's hands for growing flowers, but it's cruel if they cut off people's hands for stealing bread.

Q: Don't they also cut off people's hands and heads in Saudi Arabia?

A: That's different. Afghanistan was ruled by a tyrannical patriarchy that oppressed women and forced them to wear burqas whenever they were in public, with death by stoning as the penalty for women who did not comply.

Q: Don't Saudi women have to wear burqas in public, too?

A: No, Saudi women merely wear a traditional Islamic body covering.

Q: What's the difference?

A: The traditional Islamic covering worn by Saudi women is a modest yet fashionable garment that covers all of a woman's body except for her eyes and fingers. The burqa, on the other hand, is an evil tool of patriarchal oppression that covers all of a woman's body except for her eyes and fingers.

Q: It sounds like the same thing with a different name.

A: Now, don't go comparing Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia. The Saudis are our friends.

Q: But I thought you said 15 of the 19 hijackers on September 11th were from Saudi Arabia.

A: Yes, but they trained in Afghanistan.

Q: Who trained them?

A: A very bad man named Osama bin Laden.

Q: Was he from Afghanistan?

A: Uh, no, he was from Saudi Arabia too. But he was a bad man, a very bad man.

Q: I seem to recall he was our friend once.

A: Only when we helped him and the mujahadeen repel the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan back in the 1980s.

Q: Who are the Soviets? Was that the Evil Communist Empire Ronald Reagan talked about?

A: There are no more Soviets. The Soviet Union broke up in 1990 or thereabouts, and now they have elections and capitalism like us. We call them Russians now.

Q: So the Soviets - I mean, the Russians - are now our friends?

A: Well, not really. You see, they were our friends for many years
after they stopped being Soviets, but then they decided not to support our invasion of Iraq, so we're mad at them now. We're also mad at the French and the Germans because they didn't help us invade Iraq either.

Q: So the French and Germans are evil, too?

A: Not exactly evil, but just bad enough that we had to rename French fries and French toast to Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast.

Q: Do we always rename foods whenever another country doesn't do what we want them to do?

A: No, we just do that to our friends. Our enemies, we invade.

Q: But wasn't Iraq one of our friends back in the 1980s?

A: Well, yeah. For a while.

Q: Was Saddam Hussein ruler of Iraq back then?

A: Yes, but at the time he was fighting against Iran, which made him our friend, temporarily.

Q: Why did that make him our friend?

A: Because at that time, Iran was our enemy.

Q: Isn't that when he gassed the Kurds?

A: Yeah, but since he was fighting against Iran at the time, we
looked the other way, to show him we were his friend.

Q: So anyone who fights against one of our enemies automatically becomes our friend?

A: Most of the time, yes.

Q: And anyone who fights against one of our friends is automatically an enemy?

A: Sometimes that's true, too. However, if American corporations can profit by selling weapons to both sides at the same time, all the better.

Q: Why?

A: Because war is good for the economy, which means war is good for America. Also, since God is on America's side, anyone who opposes war is a godless un-American Communist. Do you understand now why we attacked Iraq?

Q: I think so. We attacked them because God wanted us to, right?

A: Yes.

Q: But how did we know God wanted us to attack Iraq?

A: Well, you see, God personally speaks to George W. Bush and tells him what to do.

Q: So basically, what you're saying is that we attacked Iraq because George W. Bush hears voices in his head?

A. Yes! You finally understand how the world works. Now close your eyes, make yourself comfortable, and go to sleep. Good night


(Put this here because Im sure the fires will rise. I thought this was pretty amusing. I got it from another board I post to elsewhere in cyberspace)
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Old 03-18-2004, 08:11 PM   #2
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Heh- hadn't seen that one before. Good stuff
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Old 03-18-2004, 08:32 PM   #3
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So did bambi live happily ever after?
I think Mcauley Culkin asked John Candy almost that many questions in Uncle Buck
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Old 03-19-2004, 02:39 AM   #4
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WOW. Not sure how to take that, its not like they are lies, you can acctually search and find its all almost true, dunno if Bush Jr ears voices.
things that make you think......
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Old 03-19-2004, 03:22 AM   #5
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Whatever happened to, "Go ask your mother?"
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Old 03-19-2004, 03:45 AM   #6
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This could also be renamed "Conversations with a conservative"
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Old 03-19-2004, 03:54 AM   #7
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Nice, post! Certainly lots of food for thought in there.

Scary thing is, you couldn't really deny a lot of points there...
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Old 03-19-2004, 04:26 AM   #8
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Unless you're a conservative. They'd say the sky was green if Bush told them to.
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Old 03-19-2004, 04:35 AM   #9
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Yes so true..humans who don't understand the concept of not walking into trafic, still wet themselves, and have nightmares about monsters eating them are to be trusted for the logic of deciding presidential integrity...how...democrat of you.

Here is how I explained the truth to my son..

Q. Daddy why are we fighting in Iraq?
A. Because a very bad man was killing many people there

Q. Are we safer now?
A. yes much

Q. Can I play now?
A. Sure.

I can't wait till they day when he asks me what a democrat is...telling the truth is a wonderful thing.
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Old 03-19-2004, 05:21 AM   #10
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Wow, Trith. You lied to your son? Why does that not suprise me.

Yeah, because we all know, Saddam is the leader of al-Qaeda, and commanded the terrorists to fly planes into the Twin Towers, the Pentagon, kill over 200 people in Spain, threaten France if they didn't overturn the headscarf ban. Yup, Saddam is the conservatives answer to everything. Hell, Saddam blew up the Challenger, caused the Columbia to disintegrate during re-entry. Saddam also poured sugar into my gas tank.

That's right folks. Ask a conservative, and they'll tell you that the world will be a perfectly safe place now that Saddam is in captivity. Never mind that Osama bin Laden is still at large. He's no-body compared to Saddam.
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Old 03-19-2004, 05:57 AM   #11
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Originally Posted by Trith
Q. Daddy why are we fighting in Iraq?
A. Because a very bad man was killing many people there

Q. Are we safer now?
A. yes much

Q. Can I play now?
A. Sure.
/shrug I felt safe while saddam was in power.. And I don't feel any safer now. =/
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Old 03-19-2004, 06:20 AM   #12
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Saddam is the fool who kills his own people and was prepping for a day when he would send bio and chem weapons into Israel. Israel happens to have the best intel on the terrorist groups plotting to kill Americans and our allies.

Last edited by kanibaal; 03-19-2004 at 06:58 AM.
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Old 03-19-2004, 06:37 AM   #13
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Saddam is the fool who kills his own people and was prepping for a day when he will send bio and chem weapons into Israel
Shhhhh!! Don't tell the cons that. They still think Saddam was the reason Eve ate the forbidden fruit.
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Old 03-19-2004, 06:39 AM   #14
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Now that Saddam is gone there is one less person to destablize a already shakey region.
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Old 03-19-2004, 06:49 AM   #15
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Wow, Trith. You lied to your son
No, I told him the truth..lieing to him would have required me to switch party affiliations.
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Old 03-19-2004, 06:49 AM   #16
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So as Americans we are obligated to initiate wars against every oppressive regime in the world!

And we should pile the entire bill on the american tax-payer and sacrifice young americans who could not afford college for the cause!

Thats right, Trith's version of American middle class rarely produces enlisted members of the armed forces since they can all afford college degrees and college degree usually means brass. A steep majority of deaths in military conflict are enlisted.

But, if want to actually globally enforce the Monroe Doctrine as policy, lets do it. But Iraq is only one of about a hundred oppressive dictatorships that regularly commits atrocities. Ok so for Iraq its mostly past tense now, but what of the other 99?
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Old 03-19-2004, 06:56 AM   #17
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Originally Posted by Trith
No, I told him the truth..lieing to him would have required me to switch party affiliations.
But you told him we're safer, and that's the lie. Until the real enemy, al-Qaeda, is taken care of, having Saddam in prison is not going to stop the terrorist attacks. Saddam was really only a threat to his own people. He got his ass handed to him during Desert Storm, and learned a lesson, as well as having what few WMD he owned destroyed.

On the other hand, Osama bin Laden is still free as a bird, and al-Qaeda is still the major threat, yet Bush put them on the back burner in his Quest to be 'da ma' by going after Iraq.
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Old 03-19-2004, 07:25 AM   #18
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Originally Posted by Maxiumus
Now that Saddam is gone there is one less person to destablize a already shakey region.
That's funny, I didn't know Bush had left office.
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Old 03-19-2004, 08:20 AM   #19
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So Ghie, what you're saying is people only join the military to get a college education?

I imagine the majority of our Military would beg to differ with ya. A big majority actually feel honored to defend our Country and the college education is a bonus.

It is sad though for the ones that only signed up for a college education and are actually haveing to do what they signed up for.
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Old 03-19-2004, 09:04 AM   #20
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So as Americans we are obligated to initiate wars against every oppressive regime in the world!
In a sense, yes. I think we do have the moral obligation to help (via invasion, money or airdropped aid) when we can and if we can without overburdening ourselves. Taking on one dictator at a time would be fine with me. Let's resolve the Iraq mess and move on to wherever [in say 10 years?]- spin the wheel and figure out who's next. It's far more moral than sitting and doing nothing, IMO.
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Old 03-19-2004, 02:41 PM   #21
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Thats right, Trith's version of American middle class rarely produces enlisted members of the armed forces since they can all afford college degrees and college degree usually means brass. A steep majority of deaths in military conflict are enlisted.
Funny..I know quite a few middle class happy families that paid for their college with a GI bill and now hold down excellent jobs in the civilian sector. You seem to be a bit hostile toward enlisted personell...are you suggesting they are somehow "stupid" because they enlist and cannot go to college? Sure sounds like it.
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Old 03-19-2004, 05:10 PM   #22
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Originally Posted by Caelie123
So Ghie, what you're saying is people only join the military to get a college education?

I imagine the majority of our Military would beg to differ with ya. A big majority actually feel honored to defend our Country and the college education is a bonus.

It is sad though for the ones that only signed up for a college education and are actually haveing to do what they signed up for.
Actually he is pretty close to the truth. About 1/2 of the guys I work with or meet just coming in are doing it for the college education. You can either join the army and get money for college (the G.I. Bill), OR get a college degree and the army will pay off your bill (depending on a few things, you would have to go ask your local recruiter about the excata details). Out of the remain 1/2 only abour 1/3 actually joined up just to defend the country. I did it for the job, the travel, the new life expercinces, and to defend my country.

In the last 12 years I have been in I have been all over the US to include alaska, Macedonia, Germany, Korea, Bulgaria, Kosovo, and Romina. I understood when I enlisted that deployments could and would happen. Feeling sorry for those that only joined for the college money and are now actually having to the primary job of a soldier is stupid.
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Old 03-19-2004, 05:26 PM   #23
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Feeling sorry for those that only joined for the college money and are now actually having to the primary job of a soldier is stupid.
Thats not stupid, unless you mean stupid on the part of the person who joined the army and didnt know he would be expected to go off to fight when the time came. Heres a hint, they gave you a gun for a reason.
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Old 03-19-2004, 05:43 PM   #24
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It is stupid to feel sorry for them for that reason Chuk. As you said "they gave you a gun for a reason." That reason is that you may be called upon and use it. If someone thought they could just join up and do 2-4 years and NEVER EVER possibly be called upon to do so they are an idiot, especially w/ all the current deployments going on.
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Old 03-19-2004, 06:10 PM   #25
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I vote democrat. I voted against Bush. I am anti gun. and when i read the first line:
Q: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
A: Because they had weapons of mass destruction.

I stopped reading. Usually you save your lies till further so people will miss them or assume them for true, but this simply is not the case of what happened, and people like this insult me. I most likely will vote for bush this fall.
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