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View Poll Results: My favorite poem from the ones below is written by...
Deadscale 10 7.69%
Qeylan 6 4.62%
Trim 27 20.77%
Celaeno 6 4.62%
Martigan 25 19.23%
Maelwynn 18 13.85%
Grenoble 8 6.15%
Shardmoon 15 11.54%
Stingite 11 8.46%
Ryonas 4 3.08%
Voters: 130. You may not vote on this poll


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Old 02-05-2004, 12:51 AM   #1
Lamewl
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Default Money for your Honey contest voting!

Time to vote on your favorite Valentine's Day poems! Please pick the poem below (putting the poems in separate posts since they are too long for just one) that you think is the best (don't make it a popularity contest please!) and vote for that peep above. If you'd like to "write in" an entry that is not included in the poll please pick one from this thread and post below:
http://www.erollisimarr.com/forum/sh...ad.php?t=18451

Voting will run until about midnight PST on February 12.

There will be a first, second, and third place and a special Kitty's Choice award. Everyone please thank Dagashi, since he has generously offered to contribute to the prize pot!

The awards ceremony will be held tentatively on February 13th at 7pm PST (if this is a major problem for any contestants or others who would like to attend, please PM me and if there's enough conflict I'll change it) in PoK...somewhere out of the way. All winning poems will be recited and awards announced then; feel free to attend even if you did not participate in the contest!
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Old 02-05-2004, 08:42 AM   #2
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Default Money for your Honey contest poems 1

Deadscale:

My <3 for HIE women =p

She'll summon her rods and summon her pet
"Ahh, this HIE loves the kink, I always seem to forget"

She'll ask what I prefer first Epic, Icestorm or a regular rodding
And I go "No sweets, I prefer my ass not to be throbbing"

After saying this it'll break her heart
So I pull down the muzzle and mumble "rip it apart..."

I'll try and run from this rabid tail poker
but get no where with Kibober yanking my summoned platinum choker

After all is done, I finally come to
She says, " We're not finished yet, the "rugrats" wanna join too!"

A Cleric of Tunare is the other's profession
Whenever I near her, she wields her Watersprinkler with such great aggression

I've gone all out even stole her personal diary page
All I get is a "Pfft...go play with the filthy mage"

My friend's all ask, "Why a HIE? They're stuck up and snotty"
"Beneath all that silk and plate are years of sexual tension and one yummy body"
....

Qeylan:

It is true that I am a traveling man,
Norrath's wonders have passed by my sight.
A burning sun set on the scorched sand,
At Veeshan's Peak darkened wings take flight.

In Luclin, I've seen horrors that cannot be told,
Creatures in a dead land, where no one dares to go.
Rumblecrush and Doomshade I have slain,
Beneath the shadows that fall on Umbral's Plain.

Even to the all gods I have ventured to see,
Slew Innoruuk and Cazic Thule with my bow,
and before Tunare I took a bended knee,
and to Erollisi's heavenly gaze, I did stoop low.

Yet in all these things, my happiness is not found,
My thoughts bend to you at Kelethin's shaded home.
In your welcoming arms I am safe and sound,
In your emerald eyes, I can see that I am not alone.
...

Trim:

Tales of a solo pally

Im a lone crusader searching every part of this huge land,
Seeking her out in a forest, or maybe a city by the sand.

Her face I know not, but her love I can feel, and now I need
Another to accompany me in my travels, somebody other then my holy steed.

I thought I had found her once, a young wench who tickled my nobb,
But to no avail it wasnt her, just a fat troll that hailed from grobb.

Onward to the city of men, a young blonde was part of the kings court,
But I forgot that killing Sir Lucan made me KOS for life in freeport.

Then there was Alexis, a sexy little halfling from misty thicket,
She had the nicest little backside and oh how I wanted to stick it!

There is a beauty named Alfirnia, that makes my heart melt when she speaks,
But I cant even kiss her, she is a 8ft tall barbarian from everfrost peaks.

I'll admit that I even went through a female goblin phase,
But it did not take long for me to wear out my welcome in beholders maze.

There was once even a female elemental who temporarily captured my soul,
But I havent been back to see her ever since I fell off the ledge in The Hole.

Feeling like a failure, having nobody but my horse I was all alone,
I still to this day dont know how I ended up in the field of bone.

I explored the area and met a female burynai inside of Kurns tower,
But I was quickly escorted out when i attempted to loot her flower.

My next stop was kaladim, where I stopped to sample some of norraths best brew,
A dwarven cocktail waitress was hitting on me, and yes a chick with a beard I will do!

My fascination with dwarf women increased as I entered the city of thurgadin,
Bearded females everywhere, it was like a massive fantasy ready to begin.

Then I realized something, and had to use my gate potion to get to the twilight sea,
I couldnt let those bearded dwarven women find out that i was hung like a flea!

All hope was now lost, as I had traveled both near and far,
Until I happened upon a strange place known as the bazaar.

It was here that i found her, and what a sight she is to see,
Nothing at all like I expected, she doesnt seem anything like me.

She has fur allover her body, whereas I have none,
But I often watch her grooming herself and I'll admit it looks quite fun.

I wonder if she has a clue about this fantastic journey to her I've made,
I really want that ornate mold she has, but I've got only catnip to trade.

Her wares are a plenty and I sure would love to make them mine somehow,
I throw on all my charm as I approach her and say hello, but all I get is a meow >^-^<
....

Celaeno:

Monk. Honor bound, ascetic,
Even celibate - mostly
Rough scales
Graze my soft skin
Electrifying my senses
....

Martigan:

The boulder flew far
It suffered from heavage
I like female Trolls
With Grand Canyon cleavage

The women from Qeynos
They're all mighty fine
They can't see in darkness
And bump into pine

The Helfies from Sureglade
Are hotties no kidding
I snare and then mezz 'em
And they do my bidding

Halfling have chicks
So sweet and so nice
Their little street walkers
Are only half price!

Erudite babes
Are tall, slim, and sheik
When they show you the hand
You'd better not speak

Little Gnome women
I feel sorry for them
All of their choices
Are gray-haired Gnome men

Ogres are ugly
But beauty's inside!
You mention their pimples
They'll tatter your hide

Iksars are different
Can't tell them apart
They determine their sexes
By smelling a fart

The blue elves are spicy
And know that they're hot
I wonder if they would
Give me a fair shot
....
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Old 02-05-2004, 08:46 AM   #3
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Default Money for your Honey contest poems 2

Maelwynn:

A Gnome's Quest

One day i was young, And prowling around,
Looking for women, But none could be found.

I went to DL, And to PoV,
But there were no ladies, To come pleasure me.

Over to Erudin, Their chicks are hot,
But they were too snooty, Stuck-up and what-not.

To Freeport i go, Human women are great,
But cause of Sir Lucan, There was too much hate.

To Halas i went, Them barbies are cool,
But i learned my lesson, Nearly froze off my tool.

Next, to Kelethin, Those elves are pretty,
But i discovered their brains, Are kept in their titties.

Tried me a half-elf, While i was there,
This lasted a while, G-strings and short hair.

Next stop, Shar Vahl, To get me a pussy,
Those cats are cool, Just a little too mooshie.

To Neriak, no lie, And found me an inkie,
But i had to split, She was WAY too kinky.

While i was there, I looked up a troll,
But i left her too, Just boring and droll.

Gukta, for fun, Wanna try me a hopper,
That night was interesting, Though i had to pay her some copper.

Oggok, next stop, It was mostly dudes,
The one chick i saw, Looked at me like food.

Was gunna try Kaladim, But everyone knows,
Those chicks are hairy, From their face to their toes.

Qeynos perhaps, Heard those chicks like threes'
But they hated me too, 'Cause i'd killed some trees.

Cablilis i tried, To get me a lizzie,
But they were too cold, And didnt like wizzies.

Rivervale for kicks, Those haffers are fun,
But i found out first hand, Sometimes fun can mean dumb.

To Felwithe, elves again, This didnt last long,
They were all high, Kept passing the bong.

Ak'Anon, back at last, It was good to be home,
And then lo and behold, I did spy me a gnome.

She was short, she was smart, She was cute, yes, and witty,
And on top of it all, Had a nice set of titties.

Nice ass, blue eyes, Blond hair, pretty robe,
Oh yes, she was fine, And all mine to goad.

So i asked her, politley, If she'd marry me,
She said "Slow down hot-shot, Just wait and we'll see".

I stand here today, With my kids around me,
Her and I got together, As sure as can be.

My advice, all you lads, Skip the hassles and take it,
Get a gnome, they're the best, And they never, EVER, fake it!!!
....

Grenoble:

I know the High Elves
Are all touching themselves
While hiding behind Felwithe's walls
With faces uptight
And skin pasty white
Who'd guess they were fingering their balls?

The Dark Elves, full of class
Are a rare piece of ass
For they think they're too good for the rest
But for all that they're snobs
Your head still jerks and bobs
When a shadow knight lifetaps your breast

The barbs are simply too coarse
The men hung like a horse
Can you picture one porking a gnome?
Oh, they're proud of their 'spears'
As they grab onto your ears
And ride you like a sled to their home

The dwarves covered with hair
Really give me a scare
I would rather lie down with a shrub
And at climax, they yell
Not my name, but "Great Brell"!
And they look like peat moss in the tub

Haffers think they're so sweet
With their silken-furred feet
And a fright'ningly overlarge head
But their winkies are small
And they don't get it at all
"Skin Like Wood" isn't quite what I said

Vah Shir are soft, true,
When they rub against you
But the hairballs can be a real mess
Their own crotch they can lick
A spectacular trick
But they don't need me, then, I guess

Trolls are vicious and mean
And somewhat less than clean
I knew one who grew moss on his back
They like to act tough
And prefer their sex rough
And they're all proud to show off their crack

Ogres aren't very bright
And when naked a sight
That's enough to make your eyes bleed
Still, they barsh pretty well
If you can get by the smell
And their questionable pink-armor need

There are eruds and frogs
Having sex in the bogs
(do frogloks backflip when they screw?)
But I go for the males
With claws, scales and tails
Iksar are all that I do!
....

Shardmoon:

"Ode to my 10lb Halas Meat Pie"

In Dunegons,
In Planes,
They call for my skills,
The buffs,
The slows,
both pay the bills,
but even these gifts,
leave em high,
and dry,
when they come,
face to face,
with my 10lb Halas Meat Pie
I swing my sack,
to my chest,
and rummage,
through the clutter,
for my 10lb Halas Meat Pie,
covered in my butter.
Its a miraculous meal,
or so Ive been told,
to eat,
my Meat Pie,
Hot and steamy,
or even served cold.
So the next time you feel,
the growling in your gut,
take a mouth full,
of my 10lb Halas Meat pie,
Go ahead,
Suck it up.
....

Stingite:

How to solve women trouble OR Stingite Lovin'

Well see,
there's this High-elf hottie
.....................(who heals me)
Her name is Raigne, the rangah-lover,
a cleric with a bootie gone biscotti.

And see,
there's an Erudin beauty
.....................(who rules me)
Her name is Inara or Inny or Boss . . .
a see-through-silks kind of cutie.

So I'm torn between these two
on whom to write this poem to
or how I will explain the pain
to one of them who sees this same
poem I write to confess a heat
for both I hope to make my treat.

Then again,
there's Kelinia the wizard
.....................(like a blizzard)
With mega-crits and epic sticks
and a tasty looking gizzard.

But maybe,
there's Makalani, the old MA
.....................(in the foray)
Dwarven steamy and eyes gone gleaming
Downward cleavage screenshots dreaming days away.

Look! Now there's four to ponder on
What do I do, my mind is gone
I hunger most for all these ladies
but which one makes good Iksar babies
And is that what I really want,
a Norrath lady for me to flaunt?

Quite possibly,
I'll just stick with Fluffy
.....................(my puppy)
he's cold and mean and /guards me here
and does not fear from hair gone puffy.

In fact,
Let's just eat these tasty women
.....................(post mortem)
since I can't decide which one I like,
THEN, CRIPES, HAPPY V-DAY TO THE VICTIM!
....

Ryonas:

Wood Elf chicks make the world go 'round,
But Dark Elf chicks are hotter.
High Elf chicks have awesome thighs,
(King Thex, can I date your daughter?)
If you try to kiss an Ogre chick,
She'll smash you 'til you're mooshy.
Vah Shir chicks give the hottest lovin'
(Oh yeah, it's REAL NICE...kitty) =D
Half Elf chicks are built quite nice,
Iksar chicks are scary.
Halfling chicks are full of lice,
Dwarf chicks? WAY too hairy.
Froglok chicks are SLIPPERY!
(Get your mind out of the gutter!)
I heard that Troll chicks LOVE Gnome chicks
Charbroiled, dipped in butter.
Erudite, Human, Barbarian chicks are hot too,
But I've found...
For me it's still those Wood Elf chicks
That make the world go 'round.
....
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Old 02-05-2004, 08:48 AM   #4
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Default And....

At the awards ceremony I'll be presenting my own Valentine's Day poem...but you'll have to come if you want to hear it!
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Old 02-05-2004, 09:22 AM   #5
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Hail,
Originally Posted by Lamewl
...but you'll have to come if you want to hear it!
Naughty naughty pussycat!
/flee

Take care,
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Old 02-05-2004, 10:51 AM   #6
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Ohhh, and it IS naughty, uh huh, just you wait!

(and actually I was particularly inspired today by all our outstanding entries, and wrote two!)
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Old 02-06-2004, 07:14 AM   #7
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Default ?

No honoroable mention for mine huh? heheheh
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Old 02-06-2004, 09:06 AM   #8
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You can still vote for yourself, if you like. >^-^<

But there were only 10 poll options allowed.
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Old 02-08-2004, 06:59 PM   #9
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Default omfg

I thought I had found her once, a young wench who tickled my nobb,
But to no avail it wasnt her, just a fat troll that hailed from grobb.



lol
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Old 02-12-2004, 04:33 PM   #10
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Last day to vote! Be sure to come to the awards ceremony tomorrow at 7pm PST at the bent over tree by the druid port-in in PoK (loc -440, 1140).

And as a note, Martigan has chosen to withdraw since he feels a post in another forum caused the vote to become unfairly skewed in his favor.
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Old 02-12-2004, 04:44 PM   #11
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If you'd make a screenshot of it so we could finally have some more news for the front page
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Old 02-12-2004, 04:54 PM   #12
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Sure, will do, and EVERYONE who is listed in this poll, please contact me tonight or tomorrow. If you are coming to the awards ceremony, you'll need to have your poem put on hotkeys (preferably) in case you are called on to recite it (I might just have the winners recite theirs or I might have everyone recite them, just be prepared please).

If you are not coming, and you are a winner, you'll need to contact me arrange a time to claim your prize. And come to think of it, all of this really needs its own post, so I'll make a new thread in the chit-chat forum for all this info and to announce the winners tomorrow.
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