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Old 12-02-2009, 09:36 AM   #1
ShardmoonVer.1
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Default Tiger Woods Yo

I have to say this Tiger thing is sort of sad. He has one of the hottest wives on the planet and still cant keep his dick in his pants.

I am also disappointed that he wants us to leave him alone out of his respect for his family. If he had respect for his family... well I dont need to state the obvious.
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Old 12-02-2009, 09:47 AM   #2
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Meh, there are more things of interest going on. Like tonight, there's the Steven Seagal Lawman premiere on A&E.
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Man that just rolls off the tongue nicely.

Originally Posted by Karthanon View Post
I know, you're in Ottawa, Davek. Still, I can't help but /poke you.
Originally Posted by Drysdale View Post
And you wonder why I don't play nice with you? You leave my man buttons alone.. Those are Davek's.
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Old 12-02-2009, 09:51 AM   #3
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The Steven Seagal "Lawman" show looks like it is going to be a version of "COPS" starring Seagal which could be pretty good. I always liked "COPS". Let's hope Seagal gets to use some Aikido.
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Old 12-02-2009, 09:58 AM   #4
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It was Tiger's competitive spirit that did him in - he kept seeing Jon Gosselin winning all these "Douchebag of the Year" awards and figured he could knock him out of the running.

Of course, if he does a Cadillac commercial for the Super Bowl advertising "Escalade Escape - For when your wife is swinging your clubs because you've been swinging at the clubs", that might pick up a few awards too.
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Old 12-02-2009, 10:15 AM   #5
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I wonder if it was his wife that disabled the air bags.
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Old 12-02-2009, 11:35 AM   #6
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I feel sorriest for David Letterman...

Tiger's plight is comic gold and he really can't touch it!
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Old 12-02-2009, 11:50 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by Shard
I wonder if it was his wife that disabled the air bags.
Why not? She already disabled the rear window with a 3 wood.
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Old 12-02-2009, 10:10 PM   #8
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You guys are listening to Sirius sports talk, aren't you?
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Old 12-03-2009, 07:44 PM   #9
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I realize that this may come as a shock to all of you...given that I have spent so many posts lamenting over alternate lifestyles in America ..and the World as a hoe...

But I have a confession to make... I am one of Tiger's many Hoes. I am 'Tigger's', as he is known to me, 19th hole.

His wife beat him up because of me...The fact that his final resting place was on a hard, firm, and solid tree trunk is only fitting. It's friggen irony I tell ya.
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Old 12-03-2009, 08:22 PM   #10
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Rheaton...Tiger calls his penis "The Dragon".

When you lube up and get on all fours...it's time for Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.
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Old 12-03-2009, 09:04 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by ShardmoonVer.1 View Post
and still cant keep his dick in his pants.

Oh dear, oh my. You said DICK.
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Old 12-04-2009, 04:08 AM   #12
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Originally Posted by Rheaton View Post
I realize that this may come as a shock to all of you...given that I have spent so many posts lamenting over alternate lifestyles in America ..and the World as a hoe...

But I have a confession to make... I am one of Tiger's many Hoes. I am 'Tigger's', as he is known to me, 19th hole.

His wife beat him up because of me...The fact that his final resting place was on a hard, firm, and solid tree trunk is only fitting. It's friggen irony I tell ya.
Liar. We all know you only do hockey players.
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Man that just rolls off the tongue nicely.

Originally Posted by Karthanon View Post
I know, you're in Ottawa, Davek. Still, I can't help but /poke you.
Originally Posted by Drysdale View Post
And you wonder why I don't play nice with you? You leave my man buttons alone.. Those are Davek's.
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Old 12-04-2009, 05:46 AM   #13
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Please.... Tiger's hung like a squirrel....
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Old 12-04-2009, 06:48 AM   #14
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Tigers new nick name... Cheetah.

Not sure where I heard that, but i laughed.
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Old 12-04-2009, 07:15 AM   #15
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Originally Posted by ShardmoonVer.1 View Post
Tigers new nick name... Cheetah.

Not sure where I heard that, but i laughed.

I LOL'ed!
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Old 12-04-2009, 09:07 AM   #16
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Ahh, but will he sign up and be sponsored by the energy drink Cheetah like Ben Johnson did?

Making such bad commercials they were funny with lines like:

"Ben, when you run, do you Cheetah?". "Absolutely," says Johnson. "I Cheetah all the time"
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Man that just rolls off the tongue nicely.

Originally Posted by Karthanon View Post
I know, you're in Ottawa, Davek. Still, I can't help but /poke you.
Originally Posted by Drysdale View Post
And you wonder why I don't play nice with you? You leave my man buttons alone.. Those are Davek's.
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Old 12-05-2009, 08:48 PM   #17
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Q: Whats the difference between a golf ball and an excalade?
A: Tiger can drive a golf ball 300 yards.
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Old 12-05-2009, 09:03 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by Martigan View Post
Rheaton...Tiger calls his penis "The Dragon".

When you lube up and get on all fours...it's time for Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.
Hey.. when I lube up it's none of your darn business, perv!
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Old 12-06-2009, 09:04 AM   #19
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Opie and ANthony were talking about this the other day and I actually agree with them: What he did was bad. Lots of peopole do it and it's still bad. His wife has the right to take him for millions if she decides to split.

BUT, famous or not, he doesn't owe us a damn thing. How about instead of lamenting that being able to hit a ball with a club doesn't qualify you for sainthood like it used to we stop telling our kids over and over again what role models athletes are.

He's a great role model for how to hit a ball with a club. Always has been always will. Assuming that this makes him a shining example of anything else is both naive and silly. I don't think being a good golfer qualifies him to race in nascar. It doesn't mean he'd be a great nfl quarterback, a great doctor, lawyer, accountant, musician, or anything else. It means he's a great golfer, take it or leave it.


Perhaps a better choice would be to start telling your kids that if you want a role model for marriage they might look for qualifications beyond the ability to hit things with clubs.
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Old 12-06-2009, 10:00 AM   #20
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Originally Posted by AjTaliesen View Post
Perhaps a better choice would be to start telling your kids that if you want a role model for marriage they might look for qualifications beyond the ability to hit things with clubs.
Get the fuck out. It worked great for the cavemen, it sure as hell works great today!
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Man that just rolls off the tongue nicely.

Originally Posted by Karthanon View Post
I know, you're in Ottawa, Davek. Still, I can't help but /poke you.
Originally Posted by Drysdale View Post
And you wonder why I don't play nice with you? You leave my man buttons alone.. Those are Davek's.
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Old 12-06-2009, 10:50 AM   #21
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Originally Posted by AjTaliesen View Post
Opie and ANthony were talking about this the other day and I actually agree with them: What he did was bad. Lots of peopole do it and it's still bad. His wife has the right to take him for millions if she decides to split.

BUT, famous or not, he doesn't owe us a damn thing. How about instead of lamenting that being able to hit a ball with a club doesn't qualify you for sainthood like it used to we stop telling our kids over and over again what role models athletes are.

He's a great role model for how to hit a ball with a club. Always has been always will. Assuming that this makes him a shining example of anything else is both naive and silly. I don't think being a good golfer qualifies him to race in nascar. It doesn't mean he'd be a great nfl quarterback, a great doctor, lawyer, accountant, musician, or anything else. It means he's a great golfer, take it or leave it.


Perhaps a better choice would be to start telling your kids that if you want a role model for marriage they might look for qualifications beyond the ability to hit things with clubs.

I find it Very scary that people use Athlete's and movie stars as role models period.

Need a role model?

here's one.

Don't do anything to anyone that you wouldn't want done to you. the chirstians got that one right at least.

BUT. its not a law. Don't follow it like a law. If someones trying to blow your head off or something else nasty or deadly. then its almost reversed. Do it to them before they do it to you. again not a law.

And thats about it. Show some restraint and you'll do fine

that'll be 5 bucks please___ Next!
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Old 12-12-2009, 12:11 AM   #22
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I have a suggestion IF you dont want to be a Role model dont be an athlete......... dont be a movie star.......... You want all the fame and fortune and you want people to pay attention to the advertising you get paid millions of dollars for but then after the game or when the ad is over you want them to forget you UNLESS they are going to buy new nikes with your name on them.....sorry charlie it dont work that way, maybe it should BUT it dont so famous people need to step up to the plate and act take the heat when they screw up.

Now that being said OF COURSE parents should be role models to their kids and explain to them what is right and wrong and LIVE by what they tell their kids, it is their job.... just in todays world with tv its hard to keep kids from not wanting to be like TOM BRADY LOLOLOLOL had to get that in Drys. (bad year but hey_
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Old 12-12-2009, 08:34 AM   #23
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Don't be an athlete, actor, politician, doctor, CEO, soldier, writer...


in fact, just don't be good at anything at all ever.


Is that the tactic you use Axgar?
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Old 12-12-2009, 12:35 PM   #24
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Originally Posted by Axgar View Post
I have a suggestion IF you dont want to be a Role model dont be an athlete......... dont be a movie star.......... You want all the fame and fortune and you want people to pay attention to the advertising you get paid millions of dollars for but then after the game or when the ad is over you want them to forget you UNLESS they are going to buy new nikes with your name on them.....sorry charlie it dont work that way, maybe it should BUT it dont so famous people need to step up to the plate and act take the heat when they screw up.

Now that being said OF COURSE parents should be role models to their kids and explain to them what is right and wrong and LIVE by what they tell their kids, it is their job.... just in todays world with tv its hard to keep kids from not wanting to be like TOM BRADY LOLOLOLOL had to get that in Drys. (bad year but hey_
So um, Ax came back? Way to stand behind your convictions, bro!

Originally Posted by Axgar View Post
just to make sure i cant come back NIGGERS SUCK
Of course, in Ax's view, his last comment on this board is actually directly related to this thread, so maybe he feels doubly justified. Who knows?
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Old 12-12-2009, 02:27 PM   #25
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Originally Posted by Shylodog View Post
So um, Ax came back? Way to stand behind your convictions, bro!



Of course, in Ax's view, his last comment on this board is actually directly related to this thread, so maybe he feels doubly justified. Who knows?
He's obviously not role model material.
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