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Old 12-21-2002, 09:31 PM   #1
Ice Weasel X
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Once upon a time, there was a man named Bill.  Now, Bill had a problem - he had a 12" long penis, and to date, had never been able to get the whole thing into a woman.  After a number of years of trying, he got frustrated enough to go to the local brothel and ask the madam if she could help him out.  She was so sure that she could help him that she offered him a guarantee - he would manage to fit the entirety of his enormous schlong into one of her girls and have fantastic sex with her.  If the girl couldn't do the job, he could come back to her and she would let him have one of her other girls until his needs were met.

Bill, being no fool, saw the great opportunity that this was, and took her up on it.  He handed her the money, and she said, "First door on your right.  Her name is Sally.  Have a good time, loverboy."

He went upstairs, first door on the right, and saw a cute little brunette waiting for him.  She must have been only about 5'3", and he thought to himself, "She'll never be able to take me."  They got down to the dirty, and he was slowly trying to slide all the way in.  He got 6"... 7"... 8"... and she screamed in pain.  Frustrated, he got up from the bed, and carrying his clothes in front of him, walked down to the parlor where the madam was sitting.

"Madam, Sally really couldn't do what you promised me," he said.  "Now don't you worry, Billy.  Go back upstairs and try the second door on your right.  Her name is Rachel."

Bill went back upstairs, opened the second door on his right, tossed his clothes in the corner, and hopped on Rachel.  She moaned in approval as he started to slide his massive member into her.  8"... 9"... and she screamed in pain.  He didn't even bother picking up his clothes this time.  He just headed down the stairs.  "Madam..." he started.

"Now Billy, don't you worry, I have JUST the girl for you.  Go down to the last door on your left.  Don't talk to her, don't turn the lights on, just fuck her silly and enjoy yourself."

Bill thought this was somewhat strange, but he was a tad too flustered to think straight, so he did what he was told.  He found her on the bed, ass high in the air, ready to be humped like the whore that she was.  He obliged, and managed to fit all the way in.  Bill was happily pumping away when he noticed that the girl was FOAMING at the MOUTH.  He screamed in horror and dashed out the door and down the stairs, shouting as he went, "Madam, madam, there's something wrong with that girl!"

The madam didn't seem too flustered.  She just hollered down the side hallway, "Harry!  Get up to room 9!  The dead girl is full again!"
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Old 12-21-2002, 10:15 PM   #2
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Old 12-21-2002, 10:24 PM   #3
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One day a plane crashed on a desert island. The only survivors were twelve men and one woman. Faced with no hope of rescue, they survived as best they could and agreed a rotation where each man would have a turn with the woman, so that they could stay sane.

Things worked pretty well for a few years, until the woman caught some obscure desert island disease and died. That was pretty distressing for the men. The first week after she died was unpleasant. The second week was worse, and by the third week it was really horrible.
On the fourth week, they buried her.
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Old 12-21-2002, 10:26 PM   #4
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Oh and by the way, a much shorter version of Weasel's joke is "What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose? ... Full."

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Old 12-22-2002, 10:48 AM   #5
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