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Old 01-15-2003, 07:07 AM   #1
Braydin
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Default Mysteries of Life

Subject: Mysteries of Life





1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll
squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

2. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a
horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?

3. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

4. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about
him?

5. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

6. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of
coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

7. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but
don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

8. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they
are going to look up there anyway?

9. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're
both dogs!

10. Why are Trix only for kids?

11. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why
didn't he just buy dinner?

12. Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'?

13. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

14. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

15. If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear
him, is he still wrong?

16. Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion
stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is
wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?

17. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from
morons?

18. Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

19. Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the
same tune?

20. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

21. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad
at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the
window?

22. And... just an afterthought... when you read #19, why did you run
through both songs real quick to make sure
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Old 01-15-2003, 08:59 AM   #2
Smokums
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15. If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear
him, is he still wrong?

YES! he shouldnt have been in the woods to begin with
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Old 01-15-2003, 10:37 AM   #3
KareieWoodangel
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Answer to #1

That person was taken away from his/her mothers breast to soon and got jealous of a calf. =)
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Old 01-15-2003, 10:50 AM   #4
Azraelwrath
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I guess we'll never know some things in life.
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Old 01-16-2003, 10:41 AM   #5
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hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm...

omg they are the same tune!


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Old 01-16-2003, 11:11 AM   #6
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Re #6 --

Why the heck should he fix the hole in the boat? He had a much better chance to get a girl here than he would if they were rescued!

Saff
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Old 01-16-2003, 03:40 PM   #7
brontes
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HeHe, you watch the man show.............
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Old 01-21-2003, 05:51 PM   #8
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Default Mysteries of Life

18. No It's not just disney world... it's disney land, and california adventure
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Old 01-22-2003, 02:55 PM   #9
woolfpak
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Default Re: Mysteries of Life

Originally posted by kskf2000
18. No It's not just disney world... it's disney land, and california adventure
NO NO thats little Japan
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Old 01-22-2003, 02:59 PM   #10
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I have a light in my freezer and point to my butt when I have to go #2!!!
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Old 01-22-2003, 05:11 PM   #11
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"I have a light in my freezer and point to my butt when I have to go #2!!!"


imagine reading that BEFORE you read the joke...
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Old 01-23-2003, 09:51 AM   #12
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Have a guy that worked on the phones where I used to work. He would walk around holding his ass anytime he needed to hit the crapper. I mean.. grabbing a handful. Funniest thing you ever saw.
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