Erollisi Marr - The Nameless

Go Back   Erollisi Marr - The Nameless > NON EQ Stuff (Real life, other games, etc.) > Funny Stuff

Add/Share Add/Share Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-21-2003, 08:23 AM   #1
Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 163
Send a message via Yahoo to abas
Default How dumb(clever) people make money in the US

> It pays to be stupid come judgment day in America
> Europe Intelligence Wire via NewsEdge Corporation(The Express On
> Sunday):January 21, 2003
> GOD Bless America and its great judicial system.
> It's time once again to consider the candidates for the annual Stella
> Awards.
> The Stellas are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck, who spilled coffee
> on herself and successfully sued McDonald's. That case inspired awards for
> the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States.
> The following are this year's candidates:
> 1. Kathleen Robertson, of Austin, Texas, was awarded GBP520,000 by a jury
> of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was
> running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were
> understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving
> toddler was Ms Robertson's son.
> 2. Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles, won GBP46,250 and medical expenses
> when his neighbour drove over his hand with a Honda Accord.
> Mr Truman apparently didn't notice that there was someone at the wheel of
> the car as he tried to steal his neighbour's hub caps.
> 3. Terrence Dickson, of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he'd
> just robbed by way of the garage.
> He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic opener
> was malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the door
> connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut.
> The family was on holiday and Mr Dickson found himself locked in the
> garage for eight days. He subsisted on the crate of Pepsi and bag of dry
> dog food he found.
> He sued the homeowner's insurance firm, claiming the situation caused him
> undue mental anguish. The jury agreed, to the tune of GBP333,300.
> 4. Jerry Williams, of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded GBP9,666 and
> medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door
> neighbour's beagle.
> The dog was on a chain in its owner's fenced garden.
> The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have
> been a little provoked by Mr Williams, who was shooting it repeatedly with
> a pellet gun at the time.
> 5. A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson, of
> Lancaster, Pennsylvania, GBP75,666 after she slipped on a puddle of soft
> drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone).
> The beverage was on the floor because Ms Carson had thrown it at her
> boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.
> 6. Kara Walton, of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a
> nightclub in a neighbouring city when she fell from the bathroom window to
> the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms
> Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies' room to avoid
> paying the club's GBP2.30 entry fee. She was awarded GBP8,000 and dental
> expenses.
> 7.This year's favourite could easily be Merv Grazinski, of Oklahoma City,
> Oklahoma.
> Mr Grazinski purchased a new 32ft Winnebago motor home. Having driven on
> to the freeway during his journey home, he set the cruise control at 70mph
> and calmly left the driver's seat to go into the back and make a cup of
> coffee.
> Not surprisingly, the vehicle left the road, crashed and overturned.
> Mr Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's manual
> that he couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded him GBP1,166,666 plus
> a new motor home.
> The company actually changed its manuals on the basis of this suit, just
> in case there were any other complete morons buying its vehicles.
60 Warlord

ps. GBP is Great Britain Pound.
abas is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-21-2003, 08:43 AM   #2
Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Phoenix, AZ, USA
Posts: 1,707
Send a message via Yahoo to Gurglespit
boy I am proud to be an American.. with these idiots around.. I can see how Dubya got voted into office
This space for rent!
Gurglespit is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-21-2003, 09:21 AM   #3
Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Arizona
Posts: 188
Send a message via ICQ to Ziktiny Send a message via AIM to Ziktiny Send a message via Yahoo to Ziktiny

Gurg, read the last paragraph. Seems Dubya agrees with you about our courts.


Finally retired
Ziktiny is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-21-2003, 06:37 PM   #4
Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: QQing in your WuWu~~
Posts: 202
The poodle and cat things are quite false. I can tell you from personal experiance

1) microwaves do not make animals instantly explode.

2) They do not instantly die

3) they do not sit quietly and die

4) thier is no mistaking the sounds of microwaved animals cry of pain for thier normal "I want out of this box" noises.

. . . . WHAT? I did not put that cat in thier on purpose!
Umbrae is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-21-2003, 06:51 PM   #5
Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Hawaii
Posts: 3,102
So from that article, those stories were faked?
SOE Applicant: Here is my resume.
SOE Interviewer: It's half finished.
SOE Applicant: So are your products.
SOE Interviewer: You're hired.
Azraelwrath is offline   Reply With Quote

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT -8. The time now is 04:22 PM.

Powered by: vBulletin. Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.