Erollisi Marr - The Nameless

Go Back   Erollisi Marr - The Nameless > EverQuest > Rants and Flames


Reply
 
Add/Share Add/Share Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 11-13-2002, 05:59 AM   #1
Maltzeform
Registered User
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 18
Default Best political rant ever

I hate your politics.

No, I don't know what they are. And no, I probably don't know who you are, either. Really, those two points are immaterial (no offense). As it turns out about, about 46% of you are liberal, 46% of you are conservative, and the rest of you just want your guns, drugs and brothels (here in the US, we call them folks "libertarians").

Each of you carries baggage from your political affiliation, and all of that baggage has a punky smell to it, like one of your larger species of rodent crawled in and expired in your folded underwear. Listening to any of you yammer on about the geopolitical situation is enough to make one want to melt down one's dental fillings with a beeswax candle and then jam an ice pick into the freshly-exposed nerve, just to have something else to think about. It's not so much that politics brings out the worst in people than it is that the worst in people goes looking for something to do, and that usually ends up being politics. It's either that or setting fires in trashcans.

In the spirit of fairness, and of completeness, let me go down the list and tell you what I hate about each major branch of political thinking.

Liberals: The stupidest and weakest members of the political triumvirate, they allowed conservatives to turn their name into a slur against them, exposing them as the political equivalent of the kid who lets the school bully pummel him with his own fists (Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself). Liberals champion the poor and the weak but do it in such condescendingly bureaucratic ways that the po' illedumacated Cleti would rather eat their own shotguns than associate with the likes of them. Famously humorless and dour, probably because for a really good liberal, everything is political, and you just can't joke about things like that.

Defensive and peevish even when they're right. Under the impression that people in politics should play fair, which is probably why they get screwed as often as they do (nb: 2000 Presidential election). Feel guilty about the freedoms their political positions allow them, which is frankly idiotic. Liberals are politically able to have all sorts of freaky mammal sex but typically don't; good liberal foreplay is a permission slip and three layers of impermeable barriers. The only vaguely liberal person we know of who seemed to enjoy sex in the last 30 years is Clinton, and look what he got out of it.

Fractious and have no sense of loyalty; will publicly tear out the intestines of those closest to them at the most politically inopportune times. The attention spans of poultry; easily distracted from large, useful goals by pointless minutiae. Not only can't see the forest for the trees, can't see the trees for the pine needles. Deserve every bad thing that happens to them because they just can't get their act together. Too bad those they presume to stand for get royally screwed as well.

Conservatives: Self-hating moral relativists, unless you can convince me that an intellectual class that publicly praises family values but privately engages in sodomy, coke and trophy wives is more aptly described in some other way. Not every conservative is an old wealthy white man on his third wife, but nearly every conservative aspires to be so, which is a real waste of money, youth, race and women. Genuinely fear and hate those who are not "with" them -- the sort of people who would rather shit on a freshly-baked cherry pie than share it with someone not of their own tribe.

Conservatives believe in a government by the oligarchy, for the oligarchy, which is why the conservative idea of an excellent leader is Ronald Reagan, i.e., genial, brain-damaged and amenable to manipulation by his more mentally composed underlings. Under the impression they own the copyright on Jesus and get testy when other political factions point out that technically Christ is in the public domain. Conservatives don't actually bother to spend time with people who are not conservative, and thus become confused and irritable when people disagree with them; fundamentally can't see how that's even possible, which shows an almost charming intellectual naiveté. Less interested in explaining their point of view than nuking you and everything you stand for into blackened cinders before your evil worldview catches on like a virus. Conservatives have no volume control on their hate and yet were shocked as Hell when Rush Limbaugh went deaf.

Conservatives clueless enough to think that having Condi Rice and Andrew Sullivan on the team somehow counts as diversity. Pen their "thinkers" like veal in think tanks rather than let them interact with people who might oppose their views. Loathe women who are not willing to have their opinions as safely shellacked as their hair. Let their sons get caught with a dime bag and see how many are really for "zero-tolerance." Let a swarthy day laborer impregnate their daughters and find out how many of them are really pro-life.

Libertarians: Never got over the fact they weren't the illegitimate children of Robert Heinlein and Ayn Rand; currently punishing the rest of us for it. Unusually smug for a political philosophy that's never gotten anyone elected for anything above the local water board. All for legalized drugs and prostitution but probably wouldn't want their kids blowing strangers for crack; all for slashing taxes for nearly every social service but don't seem to understand why most people aren't at all keen to trade in even the minimal safety net the US provides for 55-gallon barrels of beans and rice, a crossbow and a first-aid kit in the basement. Blissfully clueless that Libertarianism is just great as long as it doesn't actually involve real live humans.

Libertarians blog with a frequency that makes one wonder if they're actually employed somewhere or if they have loved ones that miss them. Libertarian blogs even more snide than conservative blogs, if that's possible. Socially slow -- will assume other people actually want to talk about legalizing hemp and the benefits of a polyamorous ethos when all these other folks really want is to drink beer and play Grand Theft Auto 3. Libertarianism the official political system of science fiction authors, which explains why science fiction is in such a rut these days. Libertarians often polyamorous (and hope you are too) but also somewhat out of shape, which takes a lot of the fun out of it.

Easily offended; Libertarians most likely to respond to this column. The author will attempt to engage subtle wit but will actually come across as a geeky whiner (Conservatives, more schooled in the art of poisonous replies, may actually achieve wit; liberals will reply that they don't find any of this humorous at all). Libertarians secretly worried that ultimately someone will figure out the whole of their political philosophy boils down to "Get Off My Property." News flash: This is not really a big secret to the rest of us.

I'm guessing you thought I was way off on your political philosophy but right on the button about the other two. Just think about that for a while.
http://www.scalzi.com/w020322.htm

I found it quite ammusing and pretty true. We'll wee what the more politically inclined on the boards think.

Ritt
Maltzeform is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-13-2002, 06:21 AM   #2
Codsan
The Codfather
 
Codsan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Alabama
Posts: 278
I think the whole bifurcation of the body politic into "liberals" and "conservatives" is a ruse to help Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh (and their conservative commentator ilk) sell their wares. Politicians these days can sway to the left or right depending on what their constituents or financial supporters demand.

I think people should think for themselves and always look at the actions of their government with some suspicion. It's the American way.
Codsan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-13-2002, 06:43 AM   #3
Erynlor
Registered User
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 41
ritt,

physician, heal thyself.

you're right, your rant did sound like something crawled up a certain orifice and expired. it's funny that you fall under the same sweeping generalizations you spewed about "you all out there". and yes, i'm sure i do to. at least i'm aware of what has caused me to doubt the sincerity of some liberals and the intelligence of some conservatives and the sanity of most libertarians.

i try to examine not just what someone is telling me...but also WHY. do they talk about specific issues or things, or do they try to make me afraid or angry? the easiest way to identify an idiot, pathetic, sheep that is mindlessly following their political flock is when they start using some of those demonizing terms. they dont talk about the issues, their idea of "talking about the issues" is ranting, name calling, and fear-mongering.

i know some idiot right wing conservatives that hate, but most do NOT want to throw women, children and the infirm into the streets. yes, many of the rich are conservative, but according to your statistics, i dont believe 40+% of americans could be classified as rich.

i know some insulting white liberals that tried to buddy up to me as a 'victimized' hispanic who had his "land taken from him"...but i have no doubt in my mind that they probably used and still use such terms as "beaner or greaser". cut me some slack. but most liberals do NOT want a permenant welfare class nor do they want to baby everyone.

some politicians may be very sincere (i've heard a lot about the recently deceased senator from minn along these lines), but all sides of the political spectrum have career politicians who will do, say, cheat, and promise whatever it takes to stay "in power". they dont give a shit about their constituants; any more than a mugger does....in fact, a mugger is at least obvous in their methods and self-interest.

i applaud your attempt at "rising above the politics", but your rant clearly reveals your prejudices, your ideas, and what you have been conditioned to believe. is that bad? no. so i'm not saying your post is dumb and/or irrelevant, i just thought you'd like my feedback since you asked for it.

the bible has an interesting passage that basically states:
"cast the mote from your eye before you attempt to remove the rafter from mine"
(no..i am not a bible-thumping conservative, i dont even believe in a god....that doesnt make me a godless commie either)

safe hunting,

erynlor
Erynlor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-13-2002, 07:16 AM   #4
Sejal Traurig
Registered User
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 14
Send a message via ICQ to Sejal Traurig
Default .

So.. Erynlor falls into the "I don't find this at all funny" category...
Sejal Traurig is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-13-2002, 07:29 AM   #5
Lurikeen
Freaky
 
Lurikeen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 17,873
Eventhough I consider myself a "liberal", I thought the rant was god damn hilarious! ROFLMAO!

However, I don't think the terms "liberal" or "conservative" describe the political positions of real people anymore. In fact, I don't think they describe the political positions of our politicians, too. (Did I just imply that politicians aren't real people? )

I think better terms are "Realist (Pessimist)" and "Idealist (optimist)". Those to the old "Right" tend to be more realist in there politics while those who are the old "Left" are more idealist.

Most people are a mixture of of the two and most of the time it his hard to discern just what poisition a person takes. We then call them "Moderates". hehehehehe
__________________
"All I said was... that bit of halibut is good enough for Jehovah." —Monty Python's "Life of Brian"
Lurikeen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-13-2002, 07:31 AM   #6
Trech
Registered User
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Shreveport, LA
Posts: 1,394
Send a message via MSN to Trech
Best politcal rant? Puleaze. Sounds more like a college kids who has learned how to push people's buttons by channeling left over teen angst and a large vocabulary. Id give it an F because most his/her revelations are flat out wrong and most of us are tired of the trite "I hate the world" rants but at least they tried. D-
Trech is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-13-2002, 08:14 AM   #7
Erynlor
Registered User
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 41
Angry sejal smells of elderberries

sejal,

stop stalking me dude!!!!!



erynlor the un-amused

"we doooan neeeed no steen-king humor!"
Erynlor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-13-2002, 08:23 AM   #8
Jellybean
Jelly: It's what's for dinner
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Under Nire's Desk!
Posts: 54
Send a message via AIM to Jellybean
I agree with Trech. I read most of it and found it highly judgemental and mostly unfair. I suppose Anarchy is a better solution to the problems of the country?

There are always people who jump on the "we hate everything and are better than everyone while being different" bandwagon. Welcome to the machine, you're a cog.
__________________
Rev. Kylien Emotion Jellybean, Esq.
Forever in service to Storm's Fury

"I hope you drown in this mess you make, of your self-inflicted hate. You turn your back on the friends you lose, when they don't follow all your rules. But people are what they want to be, they're not lemmings to the sea. Maybe it's time that you looked at yourself. Quit blaming life on someone else."
Jellybean is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-13-2002, 09:00 AM   #9
Sejal Traurig
Registered User
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 14
Send a message via ICQ to Sejal Traurig
Trech, Jellybear, Lurikeen, other detractors.. Here is the shortened, translated into plain speech version of the above:

"All of you! Stop taking yourselves so damned seriously!"

It doesn't say "If you fit any of these categories, you are wrong" To suggest it is a bid for anarchy is ludicrous! It says "Regardless of your political views, you don't need to be SO extreme." It says "Relax! You only get one go-round.. Enjoy it!" It says "Regardless of labels, people are not THAT different" It also says, no matter what I say, people are going to continue to behave the way they already do...
Sejal Traurig is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-13-2002, 09:06 AM   #10
Maltzeform
Registered User
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 18
Yeah sejal that's the way I read it. It is interesting to see how others take it though. I cannot be creditted with it though it was form the link i provided.

Ritt
Maltzeform is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-13-2002, 09:27 AM   #11
Jellybean
Jelly: It's what's for dinner
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Under Nire's Desk!
Posts: 54
Send a message via AIM to Jellybean
JellybeaN!!! Like those little chewy things you get for Easter! BEAN! JELLYBEAN!!!!



Ok well you're allowed one mistake I guess... you made me cry...
__________________
Rev. Kylien Emotion Jellybean, Esq.
Forever in service to Storm's Fury

"I hope you drown in this mess you make, of your self-inflicted hate. You turn your back on the friends you lose, when they don't follow all your rules. But people are what they want to be, they're not lemmings to the sea. Maybe it's time that you looked at yourself. Quit blaming life on someone else."
Jellybean is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-13-2002, 09:28 AM   #12
Sejal Traurig
Registered User
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 14
Send a message via ICQ to Sejal Traurig
Oops.. My apologies.. I read it right.. typed it wrong..
Sejal Traurig is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-13-2002, 09:31 AM   #13
VenomsLust
Registered User
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Misawa, Japan
Posts: 193
Send a message via Yahoo to VenomsLust
I dunno, Jellybear sounds kinda cute... lol
Could you bounce like a gummybear?
__________________
EQ: Lyllyth -- 70 Dark Elf Shadow Knight (Semi-inactive)
WoW: Lyllyth -- Night Elf Huntress, Uther
VenomsLust is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-13-2002, 09:33 AM   #14
Sejal Traurig
Registered User
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 14
Send a message via ICQ to Sejal Traurig
Gummy Bears > All Other Non-Chocolate candies

And by the way, Erynlor, stalking you is not high on my list of priorities
Sejal Traurig is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-13-2002, 09:35 AM   #15
Jellybean
Jelly: It's what's for dinner
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Under Nire's Desk!
Posts: 54
Send a message via AIM to Jellybean
Hah, it's ok, I was just messing with ya. I mean jellybean is cutsie sounding enough to where people think I'm a female. That's what I get for letting a girl pick out my surname.

You can just call me Jelly!
__________________
Rev. Kylien Emotion Jellybean, Esq.
Forever in service to Storm's Fury

"I hope you drown in this mess you make, of your self-inflicted hate. You turn your back on the friends you lose, when they don't follow all your rules. But people are what they want to be, they're not lemmings to the sea. Maybe it's time that you looked at yourself. Quit blaming life on someone else."
Jellybean is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-13-2002, 09:39 AM   #16
Sejal Traurig
Registered User
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 14
Send a message via ICQ to Sejal Traurig
Originally posted by Jellybean
people think I'm a female.
You mean.. You AREN'T????
Sejal Traurig is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-13-2002, 09:41 AM   #17
Jellybean
Jelly: It's what's for dinner
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Under Nire's Desk!
Posts: 54
Send a message via AIM to Jellybean
LOL eat me!!! Kylien always was and always will be the sexiest hunk of elf-man that ever blessed rangerdom!
__________________
Rev. Kylien Emotion Jellybean, Esq.
Forever in service to Storm's Fury

"I hope you drown in this mess you make, of your self-inflicted hate. You turn your back on the friends you lose, when they don't follow all your rules. But people are what they want to be, they're not lemmings to the sea. Maybe it's time that you looked at yourself. Quit blaming life on someone else."
Jellybean is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-13-2002, 10:04 AM   #18
Erynlor
Registered User
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 41
all,

yeah, ritt did say those things about not taking things so seriously, but then he shoots off a lot of cliches.

btw, if you read my post without assuming i'm upset, you'll see that i express my opinion (judgemental as it may be) but i state that i'm not saying to shut up and not post. read my post with as much benefit of the doubt you read ritt's.

erynlor the STILL unimpressed. :P
Erynlor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-13-2002, 11:13 AM   #19
Lurikeen
Freaky
 
Lurikeen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 17,873
Sejal, I agree with Erynlor on the bit that unless you were assuming we were upset there is nothing to indicate we actually took offense or are upset. Indeed, I found the rant funny. I think I wrote as much, too.

__________________
"All I said was... that bit of halibut is good enough for Jehovah." —Monty Python's "Life of Brian"
Lurikeen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-13-2002, 12:08 PM   #20
Krrak
Registered User
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: The Great White North
Posts: 427
Aye, the rant was amusing - but let's put it more succinctly:

Liberals: spend taxpayer money on social programs to get elected again

Conservatives: spend taxpayer money on their cronies to get finanacing for their next election

Libertarians: useless tits who never get to spend taxpayer money

Myself, belonging to none of these factions have no problems stating it easier for those with ADD or similar to understand. There is NO form of current government that works 100% of the time - it is just not possible. We just have to make do with what we have and try to make the best of ourselves.
__________________
Master Artisan Krrak (Kiillz) D'Bonz
Monk Officer
Destiny Of Marr
Krrak is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-13-2002, 03:05 PM   #21
The Lone Ranger
Registered User
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: In the heart of rock n' roll
Posts: 217
I suppose Anarchy is a better solution to the problems of the country?
Probably a better solution for the whole world, get a fresh start for everything. Kinda like when your computer is full of shit and garbage that is outdated, useless and just annoying you. You reformat.

Actually an apocalypse would do much better. At the rate this world is creating trash, and using natural resources I don't expect it to last more than a thousand years.

The earth needs to recycle itself so that life can continue in the future. We're totally partying all over it and leaving one giant global mess.
The Lone Ranger is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-14-2002, 12:08 AM   #22
Parum
Registered User
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Are you my mommy?
Posts: 227
good post.

Uses humor (I laughed at the other two)

Invokes intrigue (Curious as to what you said about me)

Doesn't swear.

9.8 / 10, can get the other .2 from using better examples on your people.

Parum
Parum is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-14-2002, 12:17 AM   #23
Parum
Registered User
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Are you my mommy?
Posts: 227
by "your" i meant "the person's who wrote this", which of course they will never read.

<3 second languages
Parum is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-14-2002, 07:21 AM   #24
Gulyenn Meerkat
Registered User
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 128
Damn Liberals
Gulyenn Meerkat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-14-2002, 07:23 AM   #25
Gulyenn Meerkat
Registered User
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 128
grrr...blah just put meerkat.freeservers.com\images\ropekid-liberals.jpg


guess i need to pay for storage for a change =/
Gulyenn Meerkat is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -8. The time now is 02:17 PM.


Powered by: vBulletin. Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.