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Old 06-01-2010, 12:11 PM   #1
Martigan
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Default Hey Israel

If you would have gone in without paint ball guns in the first place, maybe you wouldn't have had to send in the cavalry with real guns. Stop trying to pussyfoot around these idiots and handle things right the first time.

This picture sums up my feelings towards these Islamic countries that are blinded and so eager to accept any anti-Israel propaganda.

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-..._3336901_n.jpg
(This is a pic of my wonderful daughter, who is now 20)
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Old 06-02-2010, 03:01 PM   #2
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Dear israel (and South Korea),

We have done a great deal to insure that you have a great big sign warning people not to build up enormous stock piles weapons and drop on them on your head.

This is what you get in return for being our allies. You are welcome.

Please be assured that if anyone decides to ignore these signs and either blow up your citizens or run through the sanction we use (as a better alternative to actually lifting a goddamn finger to defend you, our allies) that we will almost certainly repaint the sign with more eye pleasing colors. Or tear it down and replace it with a no smoking sign, whichever is easier for us.

Also, we are still trying to put up "Thank you for not giving weapons of mass destruction to Iran" signs in the region as well. So far, we haven't had any luck getting those signs up, but once we do, you can be assured that we will do as much to make sure everyone reads those signs as we do to protect the sanctions we've helped put in place to protect you up till now.

Please be advised that as these signs are now in place thanking your enemies for not blowing you up, we consider the matter closed. If you attempt to do anything, anything at all, to stop them from just fucking doing it anyway even though there IS a sign...we will sharply condemn you with the rest of the UN, tell you to go fuck yourself, and leave you holding a big bag of shit all by yourselves as we head home for evening tea.

Sincerely,
The United States of America.

Ps: go fuck yourselves. We only help our enemies. As allies you get nothing. Assholes.
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Old 06-02-2010, 04:16 PM   #3
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Oh good! Let me try.

Dear Minister Netanyahu,

This is notice to inform you that Turkey is a member of NATO and because of their relationship to the west we will have to remain silent regarding their overt support of those who attempted to breach your blockade.

It isn't the purpose of the President to undermine the relationship our country has had with the country of Israel since its inception. We remind you that the United States was perhaps the first country to recognize the sovereignty of the state of Israel in May of 1948. Since then we have diligently supported Israel as the foremost ally of freedom in the Middle East. However, Turkey is part of NATO and the President bows lower to them, than he does to the Jewish state. You must understand, they contribute more to NATO than just a mere token presence.

The President wants to assure you that his last state visit with you was most productive. Nevermind that you didn't receive the welcome lavished on the President of Mexico. How was that pastrami and rye, btw? I hope it was good. The cooks at the White House were busy cooking for a dinner we had planned with Oprah, and Chelsea filled up on the fruit packed in that lunch, so I thought you might enjoy a good "kosher" sandwich. She doesn't like pastrami on rye. I don't mean to be too familiar, my apologies. Again, the President wants to assure you that while he is keen to give audience to dictators and terrorists, he hasn't forgotten Israel.

Finally, we want you to personally know that President Obama may not be anti-semitic, but he is also pro-Arab. The administration will do everything they can to assure that Palestine will exist, even if Hamas continues to use rocket attacks against civilian populations in your country. We know that you are our most valuable ally in the war against terrorism activities to assist understanding our oppressed Muslim brothers regarding the brutality they have suffered at the hands of imperialists hyper-capitalists for generations.

You can count on America, Mr. Prime Minister. We are here to give you money for intelligence and to keep millions of Jewish votes.

Sincerely,

Hilary Clinton
Secretary of State
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Last edited by Lurikeen; 06-02-2010 at 04:26 PM.
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Old 06-02-2010, 06:51 PM   #4
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More proof the UN is pointless. If they were, we'd be kicking Israel and North Korea's asses for their recent attacks.
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Old 06-02-2010, 07:21 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by Heretic View Post
More proof the UN is pointless. If they were, we'd be kicking Israel and North Korea's asses for their recent attacks.
Are you stoned? Huffing paint? Just what "recent attack" by Israel are you talking about?
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Old 06-02-2010, 08:55 PM   #6
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I dont blame Israel for the stoppage of the blockage breaking attempt.

But I would have waited until there was a clear violation of their territorial waters. Then meet them with warships.
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Old 06-02-2010, 08:57 PM   #7
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They should have simply sunk the ships, fuck boarding.
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Old 06-02-2010, 09:30 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by Hormadrune View Post
They should have simply sunk the ships, fuck boarding.
I was actually thinking, when I commented on our hypocrisy, that we wouldn't have boarded. At least pre-Obama we wouldn't have. Afganistan didn't even bomb us, some nutjobs flew suicide missions into two of our buildings, who happen to have friends in Afganistan and we practically made the sky bleed. But Israel is bad guys for wanting the sanctions to actually be enforced against people who've been lobbing shit at them for 50 years.

And if we were blockading and known terrorists said "Hey, we're going to run ships past your barricade, suck it"

we'd sink the ships.

If North Korea said "Hey we're sending some shit to Iran on a plane, not your business what it is, get outta the way." would we truly wring our hands and say "whelp, what can you do? We said stop and they didn't stop. Oh well Oh golly."

No...we'd hit the damn plane so hard they'd send three wise men from the east with gifts thinking it was another star.

But Israel is bad...oh so bad for boarding the ship. Even worse for defending themselves when they got attacked (American troops would never EVER open fire on civilians who were knifing them and hitting them with steel pipes...never.)

We DON'T have all the information yet. I really don't know what happened. Israeli troops may have gone renegade and started killing hippies. I don't know.

But that really isn't what it looks like. It looks like they tried to enforce the blockade, soldiers got attacked, defended themselves and we left our "allies" holding the bag while the UN ran issue 18272 of "Jews are Evil."
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Old 06-02-2010, 09:48 PM   #9
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Also, again, don't know the facts, but at some point, shouldn't common sense exist somewhere? Maybe a little?

The story the UN and the Turkish are saying goes like this:

They wanted to send food, Jews fell from the sky and started killing people. The innocent defended themselves with only the meager tools available, the jews continued killing until nine total were dead of the 150 people, until they were able, through their valiant defense of themselves with knives and steel pipes, to convince the Israeli's to stop killing them and take them prisoner instead.


Does no one see a problem with this? Such as...this scenario could never happen, ever, anywhere, in all of history?

The Israeli version has the advantage that it's at least possible, for anyone who has ever actually met a human being at any point, to imagine.

They tried to run the bloackade. Israeli's boarded the ship, armed with paintballs. The people on board attacked them with knives and steel pipes. Chaos ensued. In the chaos, nine people died, and dozens were injured on both sides before the situation was stabilized.

Afterward, by the way, Gaza launched another rocket at Israel in protest.


Don't kid yourself. Even with Obama as President we'd make Gaza fucking glow in the dark by now if it was us.

But it's not us. And our current foreign policy is that we don't give a shit about our allies. What we care about is building an international image as the new Switzerland and everyone's pal. People don't like Israel. They are the kid with braces and bad acne at the prom. It's bad for our image to stick up for them when they get pushed around. Or shot. Or stabbed.
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Old 06-03-2010, 04:27 AM   #10
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Dear Israel,

Thank you for Bar Refaeli.

Sincerely,

The Male Gender
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Old 06-03-2010, 05:24 AM   #11
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I liked Luri's letter (although last I heard, Chelsea was working for a hedge fund rather than hanging out at the White House, but I'm sure she's keeping a very low profile regardless).

It's always interesting to see how the media reports this stuff - and how folks react. There's nothing to cause people to completely abandon all sense of reason/history as the Israel/Palestine conflict.

IMHO, the sensible way to handle this would be like a parent. Take it all away and separate the two sides until they calm down. We're not talking about much land - give Israel a small chunk of SW USA or Mexico (hey, maybe give them some of the US/Mexican border and have them enforce border control - they'd kick ass at it), and have the Gulf States find a new home for Palestine - maybe some of Yemen, Oman or Somalia. If Iran cares sooo very deeply much for them, great - give them some of Iran.

Turn Jerusalem into a museum / location for the UN, and let the rest revert back to sand. Any one who moves there gets shot - regardless of what side they're on.
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Old 06-03-2010, 06:03 AM   #12
Martigan
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Imagine if Tijuana started shooting off rockets over the border and the Mexican government did nothing about it.
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Old 06-03-2010, 07:05 AM   #13
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Originally Posted by Wildane View Post
Dear Israel,

Thank you for Bar Refaeli.

Sincerely,

The Male Gender
Wildane, she's not out-of-the-ordinary.

Women of the IDF
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