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Old 11-09-2002, 03:10 PM   #1
Lanson & Binuru
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Default 25 Ways to Annoy a Yankee

1. Take your own sweet time when doing ANYTHING.

2. Pronounce all one-syllable words with two.

3. When giving directions, finish with "and it's right down yonder on the left." Confuses the mess out of 'em.

4. Talk REAL slow, and ask them to speak more slowly so you can understand what they're saying.

5. When they talk nostalgically about the North, tell 'em "Delta's ready when you are!"

6. Talk loudly and often about SEC football or ACC basketball.

7. Refer to every soft drink as a Coke. (This really does annoy 'em!)

8. Always order sweet tea and/or grits. When they don't have it, raise a ruckus.

9. Offer to send 'em a bottle of fresh air.

10. Insist on being addressed by your first AND middle names. (e.g. Lisa Marie-John Michael-Jim Bob. . .you get the idea)

11. Frequently bring up "The War of Northern Aggression" in conversation. If anyone ever says the words "Civil War", always interject that "there was nothing civil about it."

12. Address all males as "son" and females as "little lady".

13. Correct their pronunciation of certain words. For example: It's "Pah-kahn" not "Pee-can". (Amen)

14. Put Tabasco on everything.

15. For New York Yankees: Act as if the whole state of New York is New York City. In other words, if they say "Yo, I'm from upstate New Yoik!",say "Well, I'll be darned, my wife has always wanted to see a Broadway show!"

16. When invited to dinner, offer to bring dessert. Show up with a box of Moon Pies. . .preferably the banana ones.

17. Name all of your children "Bubba". (or just call em that!)

18. Use the word "reckon" in a sentence and watch their reaction.

19. "Mash" buttons. "Cut" off lights. "Carry" the kids to school.

20. Never simply "do" something. Be "fixin to do" something.

21. Tell them you don't have an accent, they do.

22. Be sure to include "yes/no ma'am/sir" in all conversations...Offends the heck out of 'em.

23. Only use landmarks and ramble on when giving directions. "Now go down Jeff Davis Highway and turn left at where the Chevron station used to be. I think they turned it into a Amoco. Or maybe a BP. Anyway, turn right there..." "You said left." "Did I? Well, turn left there and follow it until you see a big fish on your left. I remember when that fish used to be on the other side of town.."

24. Ask them if it's still snowing up North. Then tell 'em you went driving around in your convertible this weekend.

25. Call 'em a yankee. Works every time.
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Old 11-09-2002, 04:57 PM   #2
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Hehehee
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Old 11-09-2002, 11:52 PM   #3
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Actually the real answer to #3 is -

"You'all cain't git there frum 'ere...."
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Old 11-10-2002, 01:41 PM   #4
Qanadan
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7. Refer to every soft drink as a Coke. (This really does annoy 'em!)


Not true. It's when you call it soda that pisses us off.
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Old 11-10-2002, 10:26 PM   #5
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Default ...

but it IS a coke, dammit!

I had a root beer flavored coke today as a matter of fact :P

if it has fizzlies in it, it's a coke.. or a beer.
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Old 11-10-2002, 10:34 PM   #6
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Grew up in NY, and everyone I know there refers to fizzy, non-alcoholic drinks as "sodas."  Asking for a Coke gets you the first cola available, whether it's Coca~Cola, Pepsi, RC, Jolt, Shasta, or what-the-bung-fuck-ever is there.
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Old 11-11-2002, 11:13 AM   #7
Perliquin
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Originally posted by Krrak
Actually the real answer to #3 is -

"You'all cain't git there frum 'ere...."

Heh. You can tell Krakk is definately not from the south. How many folks ya hear say You'all? It's Y'ALL dammit!
And that Coke thang? I always thought it was a sody water. But you just can't beat sweet tea! And while we're talkin bout' tea, it's supposed to be drank ice cold and sweet. NOT hot in one of them foo foo frilly cups! And coffee! Well don't even get me started on THAT one!

/em walks off grumblin' somethin bout' latte and capa-something-or-other.
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